Letter to an Unknown Mother


February 3, 2008 by multiracialsky

Many letters, web pages, and adoptive family profiles begin with the words “Dear Birthmother,” but you are not a vessel carrying another family’s baby, a start to someone else’s end. You may be a pregnant woman, a mother doing the best she can, a fellow mama making difficult choices for her children, her family, and herself.

This letter was written to you to say one thing: Hold on. Stand strong. If you have decided that finding an adoptive family for your child is what you must do, know there are all kinds of adoptive families.

If your baby is multiracial, biracial, Black, Latino, Native American, Asian, or a beautiful mix . . . If you want an open adoption, a specific kind of family, a family who shares your child’s heritage . . . This letter is to tell you the adoptive family you are seeking is out here.

You may have been told that the only adoptive parents “willing to accept” your baby are White, are unsure about sending letters and photos, will not disclose to you their full names and contact information, do not want visits, have no other children or only White children, or are older than you’d hoped for–but that is not the whole truth.

This is to all the pregnant women out there who are considering choosing an adoptive family for their child, and who have been told there is no family like the one they seek. This is especially for the mothers who are carrying beautiful brown babies–I want to tell you that there are all kinds of adoptive families out here.

There are Black, White, Asian, Latino, and Native American adoptive parents. There are adoptive families with relatives and children of all races, with friends of all races. There are families strongly in favor of open adoption. There are parents who are aware of the unique joys and challenges of raising children of color and multiracial children, raising them to be strong, proud, compassionate, healthy, happy, independent adults. There are adoptive parents who want their children to have a connection to and a relationship with you and your family, now or in the future.

Don’t give up. The adoptive family you are hoping for is out here somewhere.

Peace and Blessings to all mothers, to all fathers, to all parents-to-be.


2 thoughts on “Letter to an Unknown Mother

  1. craftymommy says:

    My husband and I are currently writing our letter. We actually have been hesitant about the whole thing because of our fear that our Asian/Latino/Caucasian/Buddhist household would not be appealing.

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© 2007-2014 All rights reserved by Natasha Sky. Posts, essays, photographs, and art may not be republished, reprinted, or repurposed without permission.
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